before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
