Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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