last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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