Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
