We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
