That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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