why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We are two peas in an std pod
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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