It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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