i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
