she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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