So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
