I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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