I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
