God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
