Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
