I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
