Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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