I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize