Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
