is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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