The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
