This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
