All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
