Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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