he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
