PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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