Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
