oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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