I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so let's talk penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
