Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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