Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
soo... how was my night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
