I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
