Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
