She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love having hate sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
