And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
