I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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