when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
