It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I love having hate sex.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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