she was so not down for the gang bang
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
