I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
