Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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