idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Every concussion has its silver lining
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
