I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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