the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
