So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
