DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
