i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
