i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
