There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
