Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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