The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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