The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
