Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In other news, I just burned my penis
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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