White coat. Heels.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My pussy is not your playground.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
