i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
