you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
