We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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