help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
